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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “crash”, during which he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. However, he questions he would have taken the label if he hadn’t independently formed that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they harbor a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people identified as having the condition are men, studies points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains an individual who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has accepted it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the growth of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number